The Merry Robin Hood
by LittleMissMaster
Summary: Hey this is a one off on an idea that i had. Basically Robin is seen kissing the Nightwatchman and he is then believed to be gay.This was a one off but i may add more to it. :D:D
1. Chapter 1

**Hey. This is just a one off story on an idea that I had. :):). Not from any particular episode or season. Hope you like it. **

The rumours had been flying through the market and villages. Everyone had heard. It was the largest news since Vasiey had become Sheriff in Nottingham. Some people laughed other could not believe it and were shocked. Girl's were heart broken and men were finding it hilarious. It flew across Nottingham like a laughter filled plague. The Sheriff and Gisbourne were taking extra delight in the rumour. It was like the pay back they had been waiting for. Robin had been seen kissing the Nightwatchman, and the rumours were saying that he was gay. The gang found it hilarious and basked in it. Robin did not see the funny side at all. The people no longer saw him as their hero or savior, the girls no longer smiled at him and batted their eyes. He was now a joke to the whole of Nottingham. How could he save the people and bring the King home when no one no longer took him seriously.

'Oi we better move our bunks further from Robin tonight. God knows what he does while we sleep.' Alan joked as everyone in camp laughed.

'Allan! It is not funny.' Robin shouted.

'I find it very funny.' Much laughed but stopped when Robin glared at him.

'Robin and some other bloke up a tree. Don't know what their doing coz we don't want to see.' Allan sung as he ran around the camp with Robin throwing things at him.

'Now now Allan. Its not something to joke about.' John said from his place sitting under a tree.

'Thank you John.' Robin said thankfully that someone was on his side.

'Robin is dealing with a trauma in his life. It can't be easy everyone finding out that you are gay.' John added smiling.

'I am not gay!' Robin roared.

**RHRHRHRHRHRH**

Marian burst into laughter when she reached the sanctuary of her room. Gisbourne had come calling on her once again and had bestowed the information to her about the rumours. The people of Nottiingham now believed Robin to be gay because he had been seen kissing her dressed as the Nightwatchman. Marian walked over and lay on her back on her bed. She could only imagine his shocked face when he heard the news. How she wished she could have been there to see it.

'It isn't funny.' A voice came from her window.

Marian sat up smiling at the man standing at her window. 'What is not funny my love.' Maran said trying to disguise the fact.

'I know what you were laughing at.' Robin smirked as he walked into the room and sat next to her on the bed.

'I find it quite amusing.' Marian stated grinning.

'It is neither funny or amusing...or true!' Robin explained.

'Aww is little Robin upset.' Marian mocked him in a baby voice.

'Marian this cannot go on. You have to come out as the Nightwatchman.' Robin said as he stood and faced her.

'Oh I think you have been doing enough coming out for the both of us.' Marian laughed as Robin moan frustrated.

'Marian the people think that I am some kind of jester.' Robin said annoyed.

'Robin the only problem you have with the people is that the girls no longer pay you the attention.' Marian stated also standing.

'What are you talking about?'

'Robin do not play the fool with me. I know that you see them. All the stares and all the smiles and winks that they send you. And you enjoy it. What man wouldn't.' Marian said.

'How did you know?' Robin asked shocked that he had been found out.

'Its OK Locksley. You can look. But if you _ever _touch. You won't have the equipment to neither gay or straight.' Marian warned.

'Yes mam.' Robin smirked as he kissed her passionatly.

'Now what are we going to do about this gay business?' Robin asked seriously.

'It will pass.' Marian laughed.

'No it will not. I cannot go anywhere. If I am at the camp then Allan and the others make jokes. If I go to the villages I get odd stares and whispering behind my back.' Robin groaned.

'Robin.' Marian smiled

'What?' Robin huffed.

'How about you prove to me that you like...women.' Marian smiled.

Robin smirked as he walked forward and grabbed her in a passionate kiss laying her back on the bed. 'But we will have to fix this.' Robin said as he broke the kiss.

'Yes yes My Lady.' Marian laughed and pulled him into another hungry kiss.

**Hey well if I am being honest this isn't as good as I thought that it would be :(:(. **

**I was hoping for it to be funnier. So I may re do it at some point. **

**Littlemissmaster. :):)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey. I was going to leave this as a one off, but then this idea came to me so I wrote it. Not sure if I will post more thought. See how it goes. Thank you to all my reviewers.**

Marian walked through the forest, making her way to the camp with a small smile decorating her face. She quicklened her pace desperate to reach the camp. She had to restrain herself with all her power to stop her from burting into incontrolable laughter at the present moment. Her body shook slightly as she tried to contain herself. She would save it for Robin. God could only imagine what he would think of the latest update to his rumour. He was not best pleased with initial gossip without the latest installment. She picked up her dress to allow her to walk at a faster pace. She had opted to leave the horse in the stables today and take walk to the camp in the nice weather. Her smile widened and her heart raced when she saw the familiar surroundings. She could hear Much moaning about something. She soon found herself jogging to reach the camp faster fearing she was about to burst with the news.

'Marian.' Robin smiled as he crossed the camp and kissed her lightly on the lips. 'This is a nice surprise.'

'Yeah so was your merryness.' Allan smirked from across the camp.

Marian bit her bottom lip to refrain herself from laughing.

'Allan if you do not stop joking about that we will not be eating squirrel for dinner.' Robin warned.

'Well aparently that's what you like to eat ain't it Robin...Some man.' Allan laughed as he dashed from his bunk when Robin ran for him.

'Allan I am seriously going to hurt you.' Robin shouted in anger.

'Is that how you like it? A little forplay before hand.' Allan joked before running again.

'Now now Allan I can safely say Robin does not like men.' Marian smirked.

'Thank you Marian.' Robin breathed in relief at someone in his defence.

'But while we are on the subject of the rumour. I came here to tell you of its progress.' Marian smiled. Happy that she could now tell them her news.

'Progress?' Much smiled.

'Yes. The rumour had been upgraded.' Marian smirked.

'Haha. Brilliant. What are they saying now.' Allan laughed looking from Allan to Robin.

'They say that the Nightwatchman hasd smiliar appearances to another man in Nottingham.'

'Who?' Robin asked stressed.

Marian smirked. 'The rumours are saying that due to colour preferances Gisbourne may be the Nightwatchman.' Marian burst out laughing as did the others.

'Their saying your romantically linked with Guy of Gisbourne.' Marian giggled hysterically.

Allan could barely control himself as he ended up laying on the leafy ground holding his aching side and trying to breathe once more. Much snorted but then stopped when Robin glared at him. He then turned his back to his master and laughed quietly in the kitchen. Djaq tried to take her mind from the event by sorting her medicine cabinet. Which only resulted in her dropping the many bottles from trying to hold in her laughter. Will sat at a tree trying to carve into a piece of wood, but it was no use as his hand shook with his body as he laughed. Little John openly laughed as did Allan. Not because he was as cocky as Allan but because he knew Robin would never be brave enough to stand against him.

'This is not funny!' Robin shouted as he looked around all his gang member whom were laughing uncontrollably. 'This rumour has to end. NOW!' He shouted. But no one was listening. 'Marian?' He asked turning to her for support, but she was the one who needed it when she almost feel over a branch from laughing.

'I AM NOT GAY!!' Robin shouted into the laughter.


	3. Chapter 3

**Well lots of you asked for Gisbournes reaction so here it is.**

'My Lord I fail to see the funny side of the matter.' Gisbourne moaned as the Sheriff continued to mock him.

'Aww you and Hood had a little lovers tiff.' The Sheriff tutted.

'That rumour is a lie and when I find out who spoke it I will have their tongues.' Gisbourne groaned.

'Why? Hoods not enough for you.' The Sheriff mocked.

Gisbourne glared at the Sheriff who was taking much enjoyment in the matter.

'If you look at him like that, no wonder he's always dashing out of here.' The Sheriff murmerred.

'My Lord this rumour must be stopped for my reputation.' Gisbourne spat.

'Why do you have other men that don't know about your little forest rump.'

'This is a serious matter.'

'Yes yes it is. You see _now _we know why he risks his life sneaking in and out of here almost every day...he's in love.' The Sheriff chuckled putting his hand to his heart.

'This is not funny!' Gisbourne shouted beginning to leave the hall.

'I happen to think its rather...merry.' The Sheriff laughed as he outstretched his arms.

**RHRHRHRHRHRH**

Robin was becoming more and more frustrated with the matter everyday, and it was all because of Allan. He would not let it lie unlike the other outlaws, he would constantly mock him on the matter.

'Robin here is your breakfast.' Much said handing him the plate.

'Ere Much! Give him more sausages, he likes them the best.' Allan winked as he shouted.

'Allan if you do not shut up I am going to take these sauseages and ram them-'

'Oi! What you do with Gisbourne in your own time, none of us needs to hear about.' Allan shouted interupting Robin.

Robin took a sauseage from his plate and launched it at Allan who ducked it easily. 'So you like to throw your weight about eh.' Allan said as he moved his eyebrows up and down.

'Hey is that why you call this camp...because you're camp.' Allan smirked.

'Come on we have to go to Nottingham. Djaq may need help with her task to get more herbs.' Robin said as he stood and made to leave the forest.

'Oh yeah look at you charging your way to Nottingham pretending to be worried about Djaq, when all you want is a some leather.' Allan shouted following Robin with the rest of the gang.

Robin turned arrow knotched in his bow and fired it. Allan ducked and it bedded its self in the tree behind him.

'Don't use your wood on me. Save it for Gisbourne.' Allan shouted as Robin moaned and started running.

'Haha. He can't wait.' Allan laughed.

**RHRHRHRHRHRH**

Marian made her way down the corridor as Gisbourne appeared at the other end. She tried to turn and go abck as she stiffled her laughter. She could barely hear his name without burst out in laughter never mind looking him in the eye.

'Marian.' He shouted down the corridor to stop her.

She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip hard to stop herself from giggling.

'Yes Sir Guy.' She turned and smiled when she heard his boots behind her.

'I wished to speak with you about this ridiculous rumour that is being spread.' Guy started.

'I have heard of somehting.' Marian smiled pretending she did not know the full scale of the matter.

'Well I would like to personally inform you that the rumour is not true, and I hope that this does not change our friendship...or anything else.'

'I see you the way I have always seen you Sir Guy.' Marian smiled.

'Sir Guy. We found this creature in the herbs store.' A guard called as he marched a person down the corridor.

'What were you doing in the storage room.' Guy barked.

Marian moved to stand next to Guy so she could see the servant. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw none other than Djaq in the guards grasps. She had on a disguise, a small one but a disguise sure enough.

'Why are you wearing those clothes?' Guy asked opening up her small jacket. 'You are a woman you should be wearing a dress.'

Djaq shot her eyes in fear to Marian's where they locked.

Marian giggled purposely. 'Come now Sir Guy. This is a man, and my servant I shall have you know.' Marian said looking to Guy then back to Djaq, her eyes caught movement behind her and she quickly saw Allan hide around the corner.

'Man?' Guy asked looking Djaq up and down.

'Yes. Must I prove it to you?' Marian asked.

'Yes. If you wish.' Guy stated.

Marian paused for a moment. She had not thought that he would ask for evidence. But if he requested it then it would be delivered. She could only sigh at the pleasure Allan would receive from it. 'Fine.' Marian said as she took Djaq face within her own hand and lightly touched her lips with her own. 'Now would I kiss a woman?' Marian asked knowiung Guy would never ruin her reputation like that.

'No. No you would not.' Guy said. 'Leave this servant with Lady Marian.' Guy barked at the soilder who quickly let Djaq go and exited the corridor.

'Good day Lady Marian.' Guy smiled.

'Sir Guy.' And with that Guy left them alone.

'Are you ok?' Marian asked a still shocked Djaq.

'In my religion it is a crime to have romantic affairs with the same sex.' Djaq stuttered.

'Yes. But I asume that it is also a crime for a female to try and pass her self of as a man.' Marian said raising her eyebrows and smiling. Djaq blushed

'Holy mary mother of god there is some good in this world?' Allan called as he walked around the corridor. He walked towards Djaq and Marian with his arms open, he pulled them both to his chest into a heart felt hug. 'I knew putting up with you two would reward me somehow in the end.' He smiled.

'Allan shut up now letsw get out of here.' Marian said as she hit him on the chest and they left the castle.

**RHRHRHRHRHRH**

'Oi Rob. You should see what your missus done in the Castle the morning.' Allan smirked as they all entered the camp. 'She had a little smooch with Djaq.' Allan smiled fondly at the memory.

'You what?' Robin asked shocked turning to Marian.

'Yeah give us another show for Robin.' Allan smiled rubbing his hands together.

'It is not as he says it was merely a peck to make Guy doubt that she was a woman.' Marian explained as Djaq looked embarrassingly at a shocked Will and walked to the other side of the camp.

Allan sighed sadly at the fact that the kiss would have to remain a closely loved memory.

They had been sat in camp for an hour now trying to find things to amuse themselves. But nothing seemed to last long enough.

'Right I have thought of a song.' Allan smiled.

'Oh here we go.' Much sighed.

'He's not even had any ale yet.' Will stated.

'Oi you. You should be honoured to have my singing to amuse you all.' Allan said hurt.

'Sing your song Allan.' John moaned knowing that its not over until the drunk man sings.

'Right here we go.' Allan smiled as he took a deep breath and started to sing:

'Aah, an afternoon alone with My favorite book, "Women in all their glory." No wife or woman to bother me. How could it get any better than this? But you'll never guess what happened to me in the Castle this morning.This guy was smiling at me and talking to me woman to bother me.' Alla started to sing badly and off key.  
'That's very interesting.' Robin said rolling his eyes.  
Allan ignore Robin and continued 'He was being real friendly,And I think he was coming on to me. I think he might've thought I was gay!'  
Robin moaned as he knew the song was aimed at him. Especially since Allan would not break eye contact with him and had even began to dance around him. 'Ahem, so, uh, why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care.'  
Allan would not allow the oportunity to pass. 'Oh, you don't have to get. All defensive about it, Rob...'  
Robin could feel the anger build in him, this was becoming more than a joke. 'I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met, okay?'  
Allan smirked liking the reaction he was receiving. 'Oh, I didn't mean anything by it, Rod. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about.'  
Robin's blood boiled as he failed once more to end the trickster. 'I don't want to talk about it, Allan! This conversation is over!!' Robin shouted as he stood and began walking away.  
Allan stood still and looked at Robin. 'Yeah, but...'  
'OVER!!' Robin bellowed.  
Allan shrugged and a smirk placed itself once more on his face. No song could go unfinished. 'Well, okay, but just so you know.' He said before he carried on singing. 'IF YOU WERE GAY. THAT'D BE OKAY. I MEAN 'CAUSE, HEY, I'D LIKE YOU ANYWAY. BECAUSE YOU SEE, IF IT WERE ME, I WOULD FEEL FREE TO SAY THAT I WAS GAY'

'BUT I'M NOT GAY.' Robin groaned ashe threw his hands through his hair harshly.  
'IF YOU WERE QUEER' Allan continued.  
'Allan!' Robin said his tone full over warning.  
'I'D STILL BE HERE,' Allan sung.  
'Allan, I'm trying to stay calm but-' Robin stated.  
'YEAR AFTER YEAR' Allan belted interrupting Robin.  
'Allan!.' Robin shouted.  
'BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAR TO ME.' Allan would not be stopped even if their was a naked woman in front of him.  
'Argh!' Robin screamed to the sky.  
'AND I KNOW THAT YOU' Allan sung and looked to Robin baiting him.  
'What?' Robin sighed knwoing that there was no force on earth to stop him.  
'YOU WOULD ACCEPT ME TOO,' Allan smiled.  
'I would?' Robin scoffed raising his eyebrows.  
Allan continued pretending not to hear Robin. 'IF I TOLD YOU TODAY,"HEY! GUESS WHAT,I'M GAY!" I'M HAPPY JUST BEING WITH YOU...SO WHAT SHOULD IT  
MATTER TO ME. WHAT YOU DO IN BED WITH GUYS?'  
'Allan, that's GROSS!' Robin shouted.  
'No it's not!' Allan laughed before continuing to sing. 'IF YOU WERE GAY...I'D SHOUT HOORAY!'  
'I am not listening!' Robin moaned as he walked around the camp once more looking to all the amused smirking faces of his friends.  
'AND HERE I'D STAY,' Allan sung louder and even more off key as Robin walked away.  
'La la la la la!' Robin said walking around with his fingers in his ears.  
'BUT I WOULDN'T GET. IN YOUR WAY.'  
'Aaaah!' Robin shouted in outrage as he could still here the annoying mans song.  
Allan smirked loving every moment of it. 'YOU CAN COUNT ON ME TO ALWAYS BE BESIDE YOU EVERY DAY, TO TELL YOU IT'S OKAY, YOU WERE JUST BORN  
THAT WAY, AND, AS THEY SAY, IT'S IN YOUR DNA, YOU'RE GAY!' Allan paused for breathe.  
'BUT I'M NOT GAY!' Robin shouted looking at all his laughing friends.  
'If you were gay.' Allan began another verse.  
'Argh!' Robin shouted as he walked up and punched Allan in the face knocking him out.

**Hey. Well a few of you had said about this song, and I went and checked it out and decided to have Allan sing it. Although I am not sure if it fits or if it has gone horribaly wrong, so please let me know.**


End file.
